Flash Back 1990 and Quilt 50.

Meet Quilt Number 1 & 2   - from 1990

Today, February 1, 2015,  I think I finished quilt number 50.  Wel,l I know I finished it - but the counting is cloudy.  It is tumbling around in the dryer as I type.

1990's Yuppies

I had so much fun creating quilt Number One in 1990. Scott was an awesome cheerleader. That Christmas, he gave me a sewing machine. He said it was a thank you for all the pants I had hemmed for him.  I had no quilt books or patterns.  There was not even an Internet!  We didn't get a computer until the next Christmas and no internet until years later...with a dial up modem!  I made up this quilt out of my own little head!  I bought binding tape at the fabric store as I didn't even know I could make it for myself!

1980's Babies In Love

Scott knew I needed to express myself with something creative.  He played guitar so beautifully.  He reached me so deeply with his music.   He made so many connections with wonderful people through his music - people we treasured as friends in so many cities, so many years.     

He worked hard at his job and was a talented engineer and manager...yet when he came home he relaxed by letting the other half of his brain reign! 

And he was a guilty party to what I recall as the 'piano fiasco'.  The previous Christmas, he leased a piano for me to explore.  I practiced for hours and hours to produce frustration, but no music. In one hour, he figured out at least three tunes, with all chords in place, never having touched a piano before.  

And so, the sewing machine appeared next, in bright paper and ribbons, under a tree decorated while wearing shorts and mixing cocktails for friends and neighbors.  Encouragements to 'drive home by that fabric store!' Raves and rapture at every block completed. No rapproachement about the sewing mess on the table for weeks. Therefore - Quilt Number 2 happened as I discovered the public library had more than novels. 
 I still honestly love calicos.

I have only these three pictures of quilts 1 & 2.  I believe each of these ladies each deserve her day in downtown Savannah under the lens. Actually, they should have their day in Carmichael, California. Maybe I should plan a trip back to the American River and snap the pics at the Effie Yeaw Nature Center as I spent most of my time there while making these two!  Quilt 2 is the quilt I sleep under.  We slept under.  Quilt 1 has been our couch quilt for almost 25 years.  

So today, I'm thanking my dearest Scott for yet another gift his love gave my soul. 

April 2009 goofing on the computer and life was good!

When I first spoke of 'sewing for my healing' I didn't realize then he even gave me the tools I needed to mourn for him.  

I appreciate if you have read my voice this far as I grieve so publicly.  Until you have deeply experienced such grief, it is awkward to listen to one who grieves. And when you find yourself there, remember...awkward is ok...just listen. 

Now, I need to pick myself up and move a bit along this trail left to me to explore alone.  Remembering I love to walk, practice yoga,  remembering I love to sew, remembering that I am entitled to be angry sometimes, to laugh as much as I want to and I am capable of more than I think I am some days.  Remembering what it is to love with passion and care and make more quilts!

James Scott Kavanaugh  

January 12, 1961 - May 6, 2009.  

Married me July 14, 1985.